Last Saturday, Dave's grandma passed away. There is so much that I can say about this- what a wonderful woman she was, how grateful I am to her for her integral role in Dave becoming the man he is today, even how cute I always thought her little TX accent was- but really, I don't know what to say. I mean, I didn't know her as well as I would have liked and circumstances would never have enabled me to do so, but even though we didn't really know each other, I loved her and I knew she loved me.
And I'm sad. I'm sad that Jack will never get to know her and that Sam will never get to meet her. I'm sad that so many things had to have been left unsaid due to recent events, and I'm sad that after everything that's happened over the past year (most of which I've left unblogged, as it's not really my story to tell), we have to say our last goodbyes to her tomorrow. Mostly, though, with the loss of this wonderful woman I'm sad for Dave. I remember how, shortly after we fell in love, he told me how his grandma was his biggest supporter in his life. She and her husband lived with Dave's family as he was growing up, and she had a big role in raising him. He spoke of her kind heart, mentioned how she always went to his football games and wrestling matches, and told me the story of when she found his fake ID. And because she had loved my David, I loved her. And I found that went both ways- when she and I met for the first time, I knew that she loved me, simply because Dave did. By the end of our first meeting, though, there was more to it than just that.
We've been going through a lot this week. As if planning the funeral of a much-loved, much-missed woman weren't enough, we're sick. Miserably sick. On Monday night Jack came down with a low fever, and Tuesday morning he and I both woke up with a sore throat. I wasn't too concerned until the afternoon/early evening when Jack woke up from a nap with a 102 fever. I decided to look in his throat, and saw what I thought looked a lot like strep. So, to the doctor we went for a throat culture and some antibiotics. The next day, Jack was worse, and the fever hit me: fever, chills, sweats, and the worst sore throat I've ever had in my life. The next day Dave came home and mentioned that his throat was beginning to hurt as well, and as the day went on he began to feel increasingly worse. The days that followed were full of rashes, blisters and very painful sore throats, and as things turn out, we have a bad case of Herpangina, or Hand, Foot & Mouth disease (people will tell you that it sounds worse than it is, but I promise that's not true- it sucks!). And it's been kicking our butts. So far Sammy has been spared (yay, breastmilk!), and we are praying that it stays that way! Dave and I are certain that this is the worst that either of our throats have hurt in our lives- poor Dave's throat is so sore and his tongue is so swollen that he can hardly talk- and as hard as it is on us, poor Jack Jack has it much harder! He has been unable to eat anything for a few days... I've even offered him chocolate ice cream many times, only to be met with "No, that might hurt my throat!" Today we managed to get him to drink a total of 12 ounces of a generic strawberry-milk-flavored vitamin drink called Fortify, but that is really all he has had all weekend.
Apparently, though, as suddenly as it comes on, it leaves. This morning I woke up and my throat barely hurts! This was also the first morning since this happened that Jack has woken up not screaming bloody murder, though he is still definitely in a lot of pain as he was up screaming 3 times last night (one of our easier nights with this disease, believe it or not!). He seems to have more energy today, and while he still is very clingy and refuses to let us look in his mouth (I did get a peak this morning- it's not a pretty picture), I am hoping that his bug is on its way out, as well.
And through all this, Dave has been planning a funeral for a very important woman. It seems the poor guy can't ever deal with one thing at a time! In two weeks it will have been a year since we moved his mom down here, and since then it's been one thing
Life won't stop tomorrow, as we say goodbye to Eva Louise Reeves. This whole experience has been pretty miserable but Dave will still be sick as he pays his respects to his grandmother, I will still be worried and praying for the health of my family as I say my final goodbyes, we aren't guaranteed that the wind will hold off as we honor her memory at her graveside, I'll probably get a sunburn, and Jack probably won't want to sit still and be quiet as the mourners listen to grandma's eulogy. But that's the way it should be. Life shouldn't stop as we say goodbye to the ones we love. As much as we want to give them the respect they deserve by having everything go perfectly smooth, they wouldn't want us to put our lives on hold for them. Life will continue to happen tomorrow, and life will continue to happen when tomorrow is over. I just finished making the programs for her service, and as Dave looked over my final draft and gave his approval, he said to me "When this is over, I want to start to plan stuff that we want to do."
And maybe I'll be able to catch my blog up to real time, too. You know, to keep up with life as it happens.